


but my heart, my heart I've learned to trust (without you holding it for me)

by theshipstorulethemallwrites



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Washington Capitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 02:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14632272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshipstorulethemallwrites/pseuds/theshipstorulethemallwrites
Summary: Nicky's heart has never wandered before but it does after they advance to the ECF and of course it goes straight to Alex's waiting hands





	but my heart, my heart I've learned to trust (without you holding it for me)

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by all the various heart wandering fics in this fandom, THE HUG, and the win
> 
> this is exactly 1198 words because I am a dork who loves these two amazing hockeys a lot. 
> 
> Unbeta'd.

Nicky finding Alex’s heart is not necessarily an everyday occurrence but it happens often enough that they have a system. And Nicky is prepared to open his hand after the win in Pittsburgh, the win that he had to watch, the win that Alex achieved on a slick pass and a brutal poke check, and find Alex’s heart, loud and red and beating in his sweaty palms. Part of him is ready for it, he knows that what finding one person’s heart for years means. He knows that Alex, brimming with joy and victory, will overflow and like always it will Nicky figuring out how to catch all the water. 

 

He’s expecting that to happen as he and Tom wait for the rest of the team in the locker room, smiling but silently aching. Silently wishing that they could have been on the ice, could have touched the puck in this game where belief was the strategy and love the result. But still, they’re here in an arena that has spelled so much pain, where Nicky knows the best place to hide and mourn, they’re here and Alex walks in and  _ fuck _ , he’s beaming.

 

And there’s a swagger in his step that Nicky hasn’t seen in years, a confidence as the weight was lifted off when Kuzy scored that game-winning goal and he’s walking straight towards Nicky. He can see Tom and jump on top of Kuzy but then his view gets obscured by a smiling sweaty Alex who wraps him tight. And Nicky knows just how much he loves this man is showing on his face, showing on the way he clutches at his jersey. 

 

Because he’s always going to be Alex’s center and Alex is always going to be his capitan and Nicky will assist on Alex’s goals and they will hug and until now knowing those things would always be true had been enough. 

 

But now, Alex looking at Nicky after this win, in this arena, in this space, it’s not enough anymore. The team is on the cusp of everything and so to is Nicky. It’s a second but the way Alex buries himself into Nicky’s neck, going from a legend to the soft man in the space it takes to blink, Nicky wants this. Nicky wants this more than he’s wanted anything and then Alex steps out of Nicky’s space and goes to celebrate with the rest of their team. Nicky knows that he’s been nicknamed by the fans as mean lars and that he has swedish murder eyes, he knows that he’s displaying more emotions than most people have witnessed from him before. But he’s just so fucking proud and happy and his heart could burst from his chest from all this joy. 

 

And it does. And it’s Nicky’s heart that suddenly appears in Alex’s hand, seconds after the cameras’ leave, instead of the other way around and no one knows what to do. Not even Nicky. Nicky’s heart has literally never left his chest before, not even as a kid and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love, it just means that this level of pure joy, of pure emotion directed at someone else hadn’t happened at this level.

 

Obviously, it lands in Alex’s hand, obviously Alex looks up and catches Nicky’s gaze and grins. Something blindly and yet soft and for a brief moment Nicky understands why so Icarus tried to reach the sun for Apollo. It’s intoxicating. 

 

“Nicky, here, I think this belongs to you.” Alex says, walking over, still in his chest pads and compression shorts, showing off so much skin and so much power as his muscles flex from where he is standing, right in front of Nicky’s stall, holding out Nicky’s heart. He wants to take it back but it feels wrong, because clearly there’s a reason that it simply fell into Alex’s hand. He can feel the empty space in his chest when he draws in a deep breath but it doesn’t feel unnatural. He’s heard people talk, especially the Swedish national team, about how they want their heart back right away. But he doesn’t. 

 

Apparently, the only difference about having his heart out of his chest is that the piece of it that protected him from spilling the things that could pierce it utterly is gone and he looks at Alex, then to the heart in his hand and then back to the softness of Alex’s eyes and says, “I’m pretty sure it belongs to you actually.”

 

He doesn’t know if the room just goes silent after his confession or it’s just that he and Alex are in their own separate world because he swears that he can hear the way Alex stops and then starts breathing again. 

 

It’s a soft “Nicky” that has him looking up from his hands to see that Alex has bent down on a knee so they are at equal height and Nicky feels. Nicky feels like he’s teetering on the edge of the cliff and he’s unsure if he’ll hit rocks or water but he’s going to fall regardless. 

 

He leans in, one hand resting on Alex’s chest, feeling the heart that’s beating so fast that Nicky swears that it could be an earthquake, it’s that potentially earth shattering, this moment, where the two of them could be heading. Without even saying a word, Alex leans in the rest of the way, pressing his lips to Nicky’s and it’s the way that this was meant to go. Nicky providing the assist, Nicky’s heart dropping in Alex’s hand the way that the puck glides from Nicky’s stick onto the tape of Alex’s and Alex finishing it off, Alex scoring the goal, Alex kissing him first. Alex being the one to close the distance, to wind his fingers into Nicky’s hair and pull him down like he’s pulling the air that’s needed to live right from Nicky’s lungs. 

 

It’s the perfect moment, the right time. He hears the team cheering in the background, a soft soundtrack to the look on Alex’s face when he pulls away. Pure joy, pure victory. The same expression he had coming off the ice, just a little softer and Nicky can’t contain his smile. 

 

They have to go back to being the team leaders immediately though because Oshie smirks at them and asks, “When we win the cup, does this mean that the two of you will get married?”

 

Alex leaves Nicky to go wrestle Osh and Nicky pelts him with sock tape and the locker room slowly returns to normal. Well, the new normal as Alex returns, picks up the heart and presses a kiss to the center of it before carefully putting it back in Nicky’s chest. He drops a quick kiss on Nicky’s forehead. They grin at each other before Alex turns to give a quick speech on just how proud he is of this team. They’re partners in everything so obviously Tom and Burky start demanding that Nicky give a speech after Alex finishes. He gives a brief speech, raising an eyebrow when Alex doesn’t move from his stall and instead is pulled into his capitan’s lap, rightness settling over his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on Tumblr [here](http://the-ships-to-rule-them-all.tumblr.com) or [here](http://segsmatthews.tumblr.com) (hockey Tumblr)  
> title comes from [this poem](https://fireandsteelofangels.tumblr.com/post/173721724212)  
> thanks so much for reading I hope you like it


End file.
